Why I should keep my eyes on my own paper

I wrote about this lady blogger who is a nontraditional premed student, but I think I deleted that entry. I read her blog in reverse chronological order and the more I read, the more it made me feel sorry for her total cluelessness. Aside from the “Obama is a socialist” garbage, it was easy for a pre-med to want to distance himself from her after she posted what looks like a draft of her personal statement.

I read it. It was pretty bad. Maybe the admissions committees are made up of people who love that kind of garbage, but I felt gross after reading it. It was treacle-y, nonsensical, and, if I were on an admissions committee, I would wonder why we didn’t just put “common sense” down as a prerequisite. The story this woman tells is sort of grotesque. Some weeks after enrolling in a few student-at-large classes at the flagship campus of University of Minnesota, she encountered a black teenager with a knife wound in his leg. She asked what happened and he asked if she wanted to see it. She said yes and explained that she was in school to eventually attend med school. Then, it got worse.

She claimed she could see that bone when he pulled off his makeshift bandage. Then, she said her “inner doc kicked in” and she rubbed neosporin all over it despite her description of gushing blood.

I tend to lean towards being cynical, but even in my attempt to be fair, I couldn’t stop thinking how that little anecdote was so wrong on so many levels. I hope to heck this is some Palin-esque attempt to draft a riveting personal statement. If it wasn’t a story…well, if it wasn’t, then I don’t know what to tell her, other than wanting to be a doctor is fine, but treating a stranger medically on the street is illegal for a very good reason. Health professionals wear gloves for a reason. They have to attend medical or nursing school and be licensed for a reason (and that reason isn’t government regulating the heck out of everybody or socialist regulation or whatever).

She ended that ditty by saying that the teen told her that she was already a doctor in his eyes. Seriously. I hope she doesn’t use that as a personal statement. I pity the admissions committee that will end up barfing after reading it. And I really, really hope that it didn’t happen in real life. It’s just so wrong, so devoid of common sense, and so ridiculous. I don’t think she should stop preparing for med school over this, but if UMN teaches a course in phlebotomy or even one in plain old first aid, she ought to really consider it. I don’t like that subtle racist theme she went with if it was fiction (black youth learns invaluable lesson from caring white lady who was born to be a doctor). She might as well have gone with the “I had a toy stethoscope from PlaySkool and I dragged it around with me my whole life so I was meant to be a doctor.”

I know. Keep my eyes on my own paper.

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