Out damn pride

Fourth day of school. I have a Physics quiz this evening. I’m pretty low on energy (I’ll be revving up in a few). Things are going okay. Things that aren’t Chem 101.

Before I launch into this tale (that turns out okay in the end), let me remind you, I’ve taken college level chemistry at a real, four-year university. I worked my behind off, but I got straight A’s in that course.  In Chem 101 and Chem 102.

On Monday evening, class began with a surprise diagnostic exam. We were told anyone who scored below a 60% would be encouraged to take Chem 100A, which I thought was like Chem for Non-Majors. It basically covers the first 3 chapters of the book. I thought it was remedial chemistry.

But knowledge is knowledge and strength on grasping the fundamentals is what it is. Now, coupled with the disclaimer that anyone who scores below a 60% on the diagnostic will typically fail Chem 101, you can imagine how blown I was by the exam. Could they have given us notice that there would be one? Could they give us a list of stuff we should be totally solid on? I remembered all the names of the elements and calculating density and all, but everything else was frustratingly fuzzy.

I talked to her after class yesterday because in lab she started with a worksheet on double displacement reactions. I’m really rusty on those. And I told her basically that I was smart and motivated, and I had to take the PCAT. I told her I was actually retaking chem only because the science credits on my transcript were older than 5 years and admissions requires science credits to be less than 5 years old.

What I was really looking for was to regain or sense credibility in her eyes. I’m pretty much a quitter. If someone says, “I don’t believe in you,” I don’t fight it. It takes less energy to be like, “Okay, don’t. Who cares?” I honestly considered dropping the course.

Instead, as the Labor Day weekend stretches out before me, I’ll be sticking my nose in a Principles of Chemistry book she lent me that I can do practice problems out of.  There’s a drop w/o a W date in a few weeks and I might do that if absolutely necessary. But I really do need an A+ in Chemistry, seeing as I’m applying pharmacy school and all.

Eff. I wish I’d done a six-year Pharm.D. program out of high school.

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