A tired October

I just took my first Microbiology Lab Practical. And I feel ill.

Not that I think I bombed it. No, I feel ill because I feverishly made flashcards yesterday. I’ve been trying to figure out how to study best for these things, what to expect, etc., and I overprepare and underperform. I’m attracted to complicated information that comes in handy maybe 1/50 questions.

I slept about 2 hours last night because a perfect exam in Microbiology is my white whale. I saw that on the first exam, two people scored perfect papers. I didn’t. I got a low B. The average was a low C.

I want to be that person with the perfect paper. I realize I have habits that obviously reveal that I’m not Miss Perfect (though I worry like a Miss Perfect would, I’m not tidy enough or fashionable enough or as eager to set a routine as a Miss Perfect would be). Yet I just want to learn how I can do that. I want to master the art of taking Microbiology exams (because studying is an art, as I’ve found). I want to be super efficient at studying and confident in my answers.

I’m not there yet. On my first Microbiology Lecture Exam, I scored an 81/100 (there are 50 questions at 2 pts each), and that was because I managed to half-heartedly answer a bonus question worth 3 points. A lot of people did worse than I did, not that that cheers me up, because a couple of people got a perfect paper, and that’s where I want to be.

Right now I sort of want to throw up. That lab practical (out of 100 pts) wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be, and yet, I could not perform as perfectly as I wanted to. I mean, we don’t have the grades in yet. Most people in the morning class got A’s or B’s, with more A’s than B’s.

I was totally exhausted and had to rack my brain for some easy stuff. Jesus I was tired. I really hope (and this is what makes me most nervous) that I marked my scantron properly. I tried to check it but I felt rather bleary.

I have to leave for Chemistry in two hours but I decided to come home because I am too effing tired. I got really scared last night and thought staying up, covering everything was the answer. I didn’t trust him after he said the first exam would focus primarily on the study objectives he handed out. It didn’t. If it had, I wouldn’t have missed all this business on axial filaments.

He said he would post the Lab Practical scores on the web later this evening. I hope that means by 5 pm. I’d rather know and just get over it, and get on my way to feeling better.

I guess if I go back to school a little early, it may be on the board outside the lab already. But I am so so so tired. I need some rest. Badly.

 

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