Final exams and the difficulty of staying positive

So I got an A in Microbiology on Exam 4 (90), Lab Practical 2 (92-I have a story to tell about this), and 50 out of 50 for the final lab report unknown. This means I didn’t have to take the final exam this morning, which theoretically gave me more time to study for Chemistry. Of course, I’m struggling, mainly due to some problems I have with the last 3 chapters.

It’s been a battle. My Chem prof mashed in the exam covering the three most important chapters into an exam during the week (same days, really) that I had a Microbiology lecture exam , and two days after I had a lab practical in Microbiology and a lab  practical in Chemistry. She also created two quizzes to do over the weekend before the Microbiology and Chemistry exams. Then, she posted the answers to the quizzes after telling us she would collect them for points and tell us the answers right before we took the exam.

I asked her if I could do the exam Tuesday, because studying for Microbiology takes forever. No, she said. I could drop that exam because she would drop the lowest exam score anyway. I said okay. Emotionally though, not taking the chem exam made me feel like a deliquent, like a bad student. Of course that’s crazy; I had to prioritize. And if I could be (and I’m trying so hard to be) the student who can take two major exams in the same day without spreading myself thin, I would be.

Anyway, I’m studying for the Chemistry 101 final, which is going to be Wednesday night. I started studying for it Saturday, because I happened to literally stay up all night Sunday until my Microbiology exam and all night Wednesday after my Chemistry Lab Practical to study like a crazy person for my Microbiology lab practical  (I begged my Microbiology prof to let me please take the lab practical on Thursday, and he gave me a break and let me take it Thursday morning with another lab section).

My Chemistry lab practical didn’t go well. I don’t what I got on it, but I didn’t have a great feeling about it. I left two questions blank, I think. I got tired and forgot how to do acid-base titration stoichiometry, which I practiced.  I felt frustrated while studying because there wasn’t a clear indication of what would be on the exam and also, there weren’t any practice problems to do.

And now I’m studying for the comprehensive final that the department makes up. My chemistry professor communicated what was on it poorly. Apparently it doesn’t correspond that well with the final exam released to course reserves in the library all that well in format. I’m actually still figuring out the Chapter 12 quiz and need to start on the Chapters 10-12 (though with Chapter 9 Lewis Structures and other Chapter 9 concepts) exam.

Because I stayed up all night for two nights to study last week, I was dead tired on Thursday and Friday. I studied Chemistry on Saturday and Sunday, but I don’t feel like I got anywhere. I’m both calmed and slightly freaked out that I have less than 72 hours. I have so much to go over. It’s as though every time I studied Microbiology, Chemistry would sink into the deepest recesses of my brain. So I have to bring it all back somehow.

I have to stay on track, too. Sometimes I feel like an idiot for trying to go to pharmacy school. I was always an ambitious girl, and I came out into the world, tried to find my place, and I couldn’t. Now I’m trying to work hard and get where I want to be. At the community college, there’s a huge population doing the very same thing (or trying to). I’ll have to stay positive and keep trying. I’ll have to figure out how to stay positive.


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