Accepted!

I got accepted Early Decision to my state school’s pharmacy school. Yay! This is what I wanted all along.

I wish I could have blogged more, but last summer was emotionally painful. I want to be stronger. I thought I was, but I think my support network sort of fell apart. And, luckily, those that remained unknowingly really helped me a lot.

Getting through pharmacy school is going to take a lot of tenacity and a stronger belief in myself. It’s going to take even more discipline.

I want this, so I’m going to do everything I can in my power to become stronger and healthier, physically and mentally. My first step is to get physically stronger–lose the weight I gained this year after being on my allergy pills, strengthen my back and core muscles, tying up my crazy huge bunion and go running.

This summer, I promised myself I’d take better care of myself. I generally do, but I want to amp it up a lot.

So getting accepted to pharmacy school is the first of a lot of things I want to accomplish. I’m happy. Now step 2 is to build my mental and physical stamina, and an even better discipline.

Marathon

This semester’s been okay, and I need to kick it into gear. I planned to do SO MUCH over spring break, but I got sick twice.

I’m hoping to be much more consistent post-Spring Break.  I’m not sure that I’ve been working as hard or as efficiently as I could, and I think it’s because so much of my energy goes to keeping my anxiety at bay.

I’m a little ashamed of myself, actually, because my classmates whine and moan about the professor, but the truth is is that they’re lazy and have given up. I know it’s hard to take out the textbook, spend time on Khan Academy, etc. but you have to do what you have to do.

I’m great at sprints, but I have to build my endurance for marathons. I need to figure out how to actually sleep before a big test instead of staying up all night on coffee and anxiety.

Planning, Scheming, Plotting

I keeping wondering what exactly went wrong last semester. I suppose it’s useless. I thought my OChem prof was disorganized and he made too many mistakes for me to feel comfortable.

And that was all there was to that.

This semester, I hope will be different. I’m taking all my classes at the Ji campus. I’m feeling slightly nervous. My Mondays and Tuesday will be hectic. It will get less hectic as the week goes on.

I’m preparing by studying OChem through the David Klein book. I’ve ordered Le Pens (tiny 0.3mm colored pens that I hope will be good for notetaking and drawing). I need to clean up my desktop.  I need to clean my backpack. Tomorrow I volunteer (and I have to figure out what’s a good new day to volunteer).

I need to finish listening to Scott Young’s videos, too. There’s quite a lot to do.

New Year New Year New Year!!!

I’m going to approach this blog differently this year to be more results-focused and to keep a log of my goals. Hopefully there will be less bellyaching from me, and more reminders to myself.

GOALS [before school starts]

  1. Grasp OChem intuitively
  2. Get a head start in physics
  3. Exercise for half an hour everyday
  4. Eat right

Okay, we’ll see how it goes.

UPDATE: Scratch that. I need to talk stuff out. I’m a talker.

The Murky Halfway

So, this past semester, I changed/delayed my time in the following ways:

  • I dropped Physics because there was going to be an exam the day after an Organic Chemistry exam
  • I dropped Organic Chem because my professor was not a very good prof and made a lot of mistakes.
  • I’ve decided to delay my applications to Pharmacy School.

I’m not sure how to explain this to my professors what I’ve done or what’s going on. I’m sort of afraid they’ll think I’m not tough enough and I’m a basket case, and that I won’t make it when I’m in school.

I have to study for my only final this semester. It’s on Wednesday.

If you only had ten more years to live, would you do anything differently?

I never respond to prompts. But what would I do if I had only ten years to live?

Some thoughts off the top of my head:

  • Spend time with other people who know they only have 10 years left so we can all party together
  • Attend Pharmacy School
  • Take up running
  • Take up pilates
  • Travel around the world staying in luxury hotels
  • Get LASIK
  • Go to charity balls (hehe)
  • Try to write a hilarious book
  • Move to Hawaii!!!!!
  • Help with H’s baby!

Different than what I would have imagined.

Change is good.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a change so what happened this semester won’t happen next semester.

I signed up for a “How to Study” course online (not through a school, but through Scott H. Young) and I hope it will help. He has worksheets and video modules accompanying an eBook. I’m not too sure about this, but I just blew $67 on it so I’m going to give it my best go.

I may need to create a second blog to explore my fears and figure out how to develop resilience. I really need to be more resilient. I hope I can figure out how.

Dropped

Oh boyoboyboyoboy….

Not quite sure how I’ll explain this to the admissions committee: I dropped OChem.

Priya’s List of Reasons Why:

Read the rest of this entry »

Nine Lives

I think Organic Chem is over for the semester. We have an exam today, and I realized that my approach to the material is very far from my professor’s approach to the material, and the twain won’t meet.

He’s a young guy. He’s very nice. He doesn’t write very well on the board, like in a way that lets you copy what he’s writing. I could get past that if he stuck to using the expensive textbook. But he doesn’t. I’m not an aural learner. I have to read and see to learn. I find myself surfing the internet looking for lecture notes from other universities on to when his notes don’t match the book’s content.

Read the rest of this entry »

Flaky flake

I haven’t been doing as well as I’ve wanted to in OChem, and this is killing some of my motivation.

Fact: I did not take my multiv Friday night, so I was tired and sluggish on Saturday, and spent most of the morning and afternoon in bed reading about Gaddhafi’s death and then about Koko the gorilla. I wasted Friday afternoon, too.  Instead of being efficient, I was puttering around. I felt tired. I generally feel tired.

Maybe I need more iron. Sigh. I have a quiz tomorrow, and, historically, quizzes have not gone very well. It really kills my self-confidence and studying is about building self-confidence.

So I should be stricter with myself. I have trouble with discipline. I know exercise would help. Yet I feel like sticking it out in my chair trying to dredge up motivation is the answer.

I wonder if I’m trying to sabotage myself. I don’t want to be anything but reliable and steady, yet I get flaky.

« Older entries