This semester’s been okay, and I need to kick it into gear. I planned to do SO MUCH over spring break, but I got sick twice.

I’m hoping to be much more consistent post-Spring Break.  I’m not sure that I’ve been working as hard or as efficiently as I could, and I think it’s because so much of my energy goes to keeping my anxiety at bay.

I’m a little ashamed of myself, actually, because my classmates whine and moan about the professor, but the truth is is that they’re lazy and have given up. I know it’s hard to take out the textbook, spend time on Khan Academy, etc. but you have to do what you have to do.

I’m great at sprints, but I have to build my endurance for marathons. I need to figure out how to actually sleep before a big test instead of staying up all night on coffee and anxiety.


Planning, Scheming, Plotting

I keeping wondering what exactly went wrong last semester. I suppose it’s useless. I thought my OChem prof was disorganized and he made too many mistakes for me to feel comfortable.

And that was all there was to that.

This semester, I hope will be different. I’m taking all my classes at the Ji campus. I’m feeling slightly nervous. My Mondays and Tuesday will be hectic. It will get less hectic as the week goes on.

I’m preparing by studying OChem through the David Klein book. I’ve ordered Le Pens (tiny 0.3mm colored pens that I hope will be good for notetaking and drawing). I need to clean up my desktop.  I need to clean my backpack. Tomorrow I volunteer (and I have to figure out what’s a good new day to volunteer).

I need to finish listening to Scott Young’s videos, too. There’s quite a lot to do.

If you only had ten more years to live, would you do anything differently?

I never respond to prompts. But what would I do if I had only ten years to live?

Some thoughts off the top of my head:

  • Spend time with other people who know they only have 10 years left so we can all party together
  • Attend Pharmacy School
  • Take up running
  • Take up pilates
  • Travel around the world staying in luxury hotels
  • Get LASIK
  • Go to charity balls (hehe)
  • Try to write a hilarious book
  • Move to Hawaii!!!!!
  • Help with H’s baby!

Different than what I would have imagined.


When you take college chemistry at my school, you’re required to take a discussion course. My professor grades us during discussion for working on a problem set (1 worksheet) together as a group. I usually work with people who seem alive and alert and aware. This week, she assigned us groups. I dealt with two students who didn’t know how to do extremely basic algebra, and one student who seemed scared and lost. I was beyond annoyed. I snapped at them. She’d literally just given a lecture a little more than an hour ago and spoon-fed us the problem solving techniques. It’s basic algebra. I’m not helping people who have nothing to offer me.

Which is mean and unkind, and I wish I had more patience. I don’t know if I do or if it’s weird that I don’t. I’ll have to ask.

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Weekly quizzes

I took my first Chemistry quiz. I stayed up all night because I wanted to get a 100% and make a great impression on my professor. I may or may not have gotten mostly everything right (or worth partial credit), except I know for sure that I misread an exponent as I tried to work quickly.  I thought she was trying to trick us, so I gleefully answered it. I couldn’t see the clock, so I just worked faster after one person handed in their quiz.

I don’t know why I’m so darn slow while I’m taking a quiz. I think it’s probably because I’m trying to think and not be scared. It takes me twice as much energy to focus and calm myself down. I always want that feeling of mastery and confidence but I never get it. I just end up feeling lucky. I hope I get at least 7 points out of this somehow. It sucks. I wanted it to be perfect. It sucks that I have to continue to worry about the mistakes I make because I make mistakes. I feel better that the smart pre-pharm Cal grad also might have  messed up.

I just want to eat lunch and take a long nap. I haven’t been interested in sleeping much lately. Part of me feels like I don’t deserve to sleep or that sleeping is boring. It’s really weird. I don’t get why I’m like this. It’s so ridiculous. God, Priya, chill out already and stop thinking about how you feel or what you’re worried about. Christ Almighty.

Final exams and the difficulty of staying positive

So I got an A in Microbiology on Exam 4 (90), Lab Practical 2 (92-I have a story to tell about this), and 50 out of 50 for the final lab report unknown. This means I didn’t have to take the final exam this morning, which theoretically gave me more time to study for Chemistry. Of course, I’m struggling, mainly due to some problems I have with the last 3 chapters.

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Don’t panic^3

Tomorrow is my very last day of work.

Oh. My. God.

I was at the little grocery store in my building fifteen minutes ago when it hit me. It was like I was pressing an icicle to my sternum.

What. Have. I. Done.?

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Summer vacation

So I’m taking the summer off to rest up for next fall. I’m leaving  for a week’s vacation to Hawaii tomorrow morning. I’m taking my PCAT book and physics book with me for the 12+ hour flight to Honolulu from Charlotte.

I wish I’d take something this summer, but I want to  feel that “I’m raring to go” feeling I had when I first took bio. I keep thinking, oh, I could take Speech or Nutrition or Bioinformatics. I might take up one of these options during Summer II. Microbiology, maybe, would have been the thing to do.

I’ll think about it on the beach.

27 January, 2010 16:11

So second semester has started. We’re starting with the nervous system. I have to get my lab and quiz done this weekend so I can have some quality time with a college friend.

This semester, I’ve committed myself to going out more and scheduling my time better. I usually love just wafting into hours of studying, with nothing pressing to do and no need to be efficient about it. I’ve somehow gotten used to not doing very much and have to get back into study mode. Read the rest of this entry »

The library is a scary place…

I’m at the library, getting an early jumpstart on studying for A&P I, and there are two med students (I think they’re med students because they’re obviously friends and one is wearing a GWU Medicine sweatshirt). They’re gossiping a lot for two people being serious about studying. I can’t hear what they’re talking about. They’re using that level of whisper that is impossible to hear but sounds like a swarm of mosquitos. One of them is talking about how something is gross. I’d like to put my headphones in my ears but one of them is missing the soft rubber tip.

I can’t help but worry a little in a junior high-ish way: Are they making fun of me? Read the rest of this entry »

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