Change is good.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a change so what happened this semester won’t happen next semester.

I signed up for a “How to Study” course online (not through a school, but through Scott H. Young) and I hope it will help. He has worksheets and video modules accompanying an eBook. I’m not too sure about this, but I just blew $67 on it so I’m going to give it my best go.

I may need to create a second blog to explore my fears and figure out how to develop resilience. I really need to be more resilient. I hope I can figure out how.

Dropped

Oh boyoboyboyoboy….

Not quite sure how I’ll explain this to the admissions committee: I dropped OChem.

Priya’s List of Reasons Why:

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Nine Lives

I think Organic Chem is over for the semester. We have an exam today, and I realized that my approach to the material is very far from my professor’s approach to the material, and the twain won’t meet.

He’s a young guy. He’s very nice. He doesn’t write very well on the board, like in a way that lets you copy what he’s writing. I could get past that if he stuck to using the expensive textbook. But he doesn’t. I’m not an aural learner. I have to read and see to learn. I find myself surfing the internet looking for lecture notes from other universities on to when his notes don’t match the book’s content.

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O-Chem Nightmare

Had my first OChem Exam today. It was a sleepy nightmare. I recognized it all. It was easier than what I was expecting. But I hadn’t slept so my brain was fried.

Yes, it’s me, Priya. The one who swears over and over again she won’t stay up all night. She never went to bed again last night.

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Want to be the girl with the most cake….

Our first organic chemistry exam is coming up on Monday. I’m nervous. I have not been doing well so far.

I think part of it is that I’ve been stressed. There’s been so much going on. And perhaps this sounds exceptionally silly, but I didn’t exactly realize I’d signed up for 12 credits. I considered Public Speaking a blow-off class, but the truth is, it has tests and stuff that’s due regularly.

I dropped Physics because I made a list of schools I wanted to go to, and I realized that a lot of them didn’t really even require physics or required only 1 semester, or they just need you to be done with both parts by the end of Summer 2012. So I can take the first part next semester instead.

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OChem and other nightmares

This might end up the the title of my autobiography.

Look, I’m sick of acting like a nervous brat. I’m so entirely sick of it. I moan and groan and ache over stupid quizzes. I get emotional, and it’s not a quality I like in myself.

I can list the reasons why it’s a Waste of Time:

  1. It’s dumb.
  2. It’s stupid.
  3. It’s a waste of emotional energy.
  4. It’s most definitely a waste of mental energy
  5. It keeps you from attaining the confidence and strength you need to get back on the proverbial horse again.
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Anxiety! Be Gone!

Things were going okay, and then this week has me frazzled. I’m trying to finish up a physics lab and prepare for a “conceptual quiz” based on some of my prof’s lectures (I missed Monday because of an orientation at the hospital for a volunteer position).

Frick frick frick frick. I had a quiz in OChem lecture. A quiz in Physics.The PCAT on Monday. And I have a quiz in OChem discussion tomorrow. I have to go to the stupid hospital to get my stupid TB test checked after my class ends at 8:30 pm.

Power through, Priya!

School begins

School begins tomorrow. I have 21 days until the PCAT. We voluntarily evacuated during the weekend because of Hurricane Irene. We were lucky to come back to an apartment with power on and clean water. The weekend in central Virginia was nice. We avoided all rednecks and had a lovely time.

I’ve had this problem lately where I don’t want to leave my apartment. I don’t love where I live, I have limited funds anyway, and driving to get everywhere is often a hassle. This all changes tomorrow, when I have to start my first day of school.

This year we have:

  1. O-Chem
  2. Physics
  3. Public Speaking
I have to mark down which dates applications are due. I feel so-so about so many of my schools. I don’t want to leave pharmacy school with six figures in debt. I badly want to get into my state university. I want to get my fierce competitive feeling back. I want to get my energy back. I sort of let the summer roll by.
I need to get my head on straight and work hard for the next 3 weeks. I have everything I need to do great. I just need to be confident. And I need to quit pretending that organizing will help me more. I’ve organized everything like crazy. it’s time to act and stop using “needing to get organized” as a crutch.

31 Days Until A Brand New Me

Since the July PCAT, I have:

  1. Written my PharmCAS essay
  2. Secured 2 out of 4 recommendation letters
  3. Scheduled an interview with the hospital volunteer coordinator
  4. Gotten 2/3 of my transcripts in to PharmCAS (U of C better step it up. I didn’t pay $15 to let them send it at their leisure.)
  5. Started to add schools outside of my top choice to my list.
  6. Selected what kind of pharmacist I want to be
  7. Made a plan for the Sept. PCAT
  8. Built a daily study schedule up to test day Read the rest of this entry »

Hitting the Reset

I took the PCAT yesterday, after a sleepless night. It’s been a really rough week. When I get nervous, I can’t eat. I had planned to drink a meal replacement. I had planned to talk myself into getting into bed.  I tried, and found I was too rattled to sleep. And my hunger pains were ripping my stomach.

I found myself desperately wishing I had had more time to study. It seemed crazy to only spend five weeks studying for it. I found this helpful stuff on the PCAT website at the last minute (because I’d been avoiding SDN—the bitchiest boyzone forum that is occasionally helpful that I’ve personally ever encountered).

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