Summer of PCAT

Got an A in Chem 102 and an A in the second half of biology. It was a relief. I barely made an A in the second half of bio, to be truthful. I was not happy with my final lecture exam score, but I attribute that to having studied far more intensely for the cumulative chemistry final.

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Taking a tumble

Some days, I suffer from anxiety. There’s a voice in my head that reminds me that I am 30, that I am a part-time student at a community college (even though I strongly believe in the value of our local community college), and that I wasted my college years and my parents’ money because I was too lazy and sheltered to grow up. I interviewed for jobs only at fancy consulting firms and offices where all the young women dressed beautifully and seemed so smart, so much better than most other women. I tried to forget that I was raised middle class, that we only lived in the town we did because it was literally the edge of being included in the state’s best school district, and that the American meritocracy doesn’t exist. Many of my peers got jobs at fancy places because their parents got them the jobs. My parents pleaded with me to figure out what I wanted to do, and I backed away and they dropped the issue.

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Fall final exam review: notes

As I mentioned in my last post, I received an A in Microbiology and an A in Chemistry.

I received an A in Chemistry, and I’m a little bit surprised. I’m pretty sure I did horribly on my Chemistry final (though I will never get to see it).

I did a bunch of things wrong that I hope to remind myself about so I don’t do them again.

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Out damn pride

Fourth day of school. I have a Physics quiz this evening. I’m pretty low on energy (I’ll be revving up in a few). Things are going okay. Things that aren’t Chem 101.

Before I launch into this tale (that turns out okay in the end), let me remind you, I’ve taken college level chemistry at a real, four-year university. I worked my behind off, but I got straight A’s in that course.  In Chem 101 and Chem 102.

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At the starting line

Well,  I’ve made it nearly 7 days as a soon-to-be full-time student. I successfully registered myself at two schools, signed up for health insurance, bought my books, and applied to a couple of part-time jobs. One is as a pharma sales intern at a pharma company nearby. It doesn’t pay very well at all, unfortunately, but I got turned down for an admin job at an early childhood ed nonprofit (I applied pretty randomly to a bunch of jobs because I was pretty panicked).

I’ve spent the last week applying to jobs and cleaning up around the apartment.  I was eagerly anticipating the New Student Orientation at my new school yesterday, and I realized how utterly stupidly inappropriate it was for me to be there. The new students there were like kittens who are a few weeks old. One student mistook me for faculty. That was my cue to exit.

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Don’t panic^3

Tomorrow is my very last day of work.

Oh. My. God.

I was at the little grocery store in my building fifteen minutes ago when it hit me. It was like I was pressing an icicle to my sternum.

What. Have. I. Done.?

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