Change is good.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need a change so what happened this semester won’t happen next semester.

I signed up for a “How to Study” course online (not through a school, but through Scott H. Young) and I hope it will help. He has worksheets and video modules accompanying an eBook. I’m not too sure about this, but I just blew $67 on it so I’m going to give it my best go.

I may need to create a second blog to explore my fears and figure out how to develop resilience. I really need to be more resilient. I hope I can figure out how.

Flaky flake

I haven’t been doing as well as I’ve wanted to in OChem, and this is killing some of my motivation.

Fact: I did not take my multiv Friday night, so I was tired and sluggish on Saturday, and spent most of the morning and afternoon in bed reading about Gaddhafi’s death and then about Koko the gorilla. I wasted Friday afternoon, too.  Instead of being efficient, I was puttering around. I felt tired. I generally feel tired.

Maybe I need more iron. Sigh. I have a quiz tomorrow, and, historically, quizzes have not gone very well. It really kills my self-confidence and studying is about building self-confidence.

So I should be stricter with myself. I have trouble with discipline. I know exercise would help. Yet I feel like sticking it out in my chair trying to dredge up motivation is the answer.

I wonder if I’m trying to sabotage myself. I don’t want to be anything but reliable and steady, yet I get flaky.

O-Chem Nightmare

Had my first OChem Exam today. It was a sleepy nightmare. I recognized it all. It was easier than what I was expecting. But I hadn’t slept so my brain was fried.

Yes, it’s me, Priya. The one who swears over and over again she won’t stay up all night. She never went to bed again last night.

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Want to be the girl with the most cake….

Our first organic chemistry exam is coming up on Monday. I’m nervous. I have not been doing well so far.

I think part of it is that I’ve been stressed. There’s been so much going on. And perhaps this sounds exceptionally silly, but I didn’t exactly realize I’d signed up for 12 credits. I considered Public Speaking a blow-off class, but the truth is, it has tests and stuff that’s due regularly.

I dropped Physics because I made a list of schools I wanted to go to, and I realized that a lot of them didn’t really even require physics or required only 1 semester, or they just need you to be done with both parts by the end of Summer 2012. So I can take the first part next semester instead.

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OChem and other nightmares

This might end up the the title of my autobiography.

Look, I’m sick of acting like a nervous brat. I’m so entirely sick of it. I moan and groan and ache over stupid quizzes. I get emotional, and it’s not a quality I like in myself.

I can list the reasons why it’s a Waste of Time:

  1. It’s dumb.
  2. It’s stupid.
  3. It’s a waste of emotional energy.
  4. It’s most definitely a waste of mental energy
  5. It keeps you from attaining the confidence and strength you need to get back on the proverbial horse again.
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Anxiety! Be Gone!

Things were going okay, and then this week has me frazzled. I’m trying to finish up a physics lab and prepare for a “conceptual quiz” based on some of my prof’s lectures (I missed Monday because of an orientation at the hospital for a volunteer position).

Frick frick frick frick. I had a quiz in OChem lecture. A quiz in Physics.The PCAT on Monday. And I have a quiz in OChem discussion tomorrow. I have to go to the stupid hospital to get my stupid TB test checked after my class ends at 8:30 pm.

Power through, Priya!

How lazy can I be today? Let me count the ways!

You know what’s better than reviewing Quant? I’ll make you a list:

  1. Changing my WordPress theme
  2. Seeing Lauren Conrad take MTV Cribs on a tour of her parents’ megamansion
  3. Designing a new blog for myself so I can kick my own ass about stuff outside of school
  4. Watching an episode of “Dance Moms” and feeling like I wanted to shower after the experience.
  5. Making licorice tea to settle my stomach Read the rest of this entry »

Hitting the Reset

I took the PCAT yesterday, after a sleepless night. It’s been a really rough week. When I get nervous, I can’t eat. I had planned to drink a meal replacement. I had planned to talk myself into getting into bed.  I tried, and found I was too rattled to sleep. And my hunger pains were ripping my stomach.

I found myself desperately wishing I had had more time to study. It seemed crazy to only spend five weeks studying for it. I found this helpful stuff on the PCAT website at the last minute (because I’d been avoiding SDN—the bitchiest boyzone forum that is occasionally helpful that I’ve personally ever encountered).

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No time to panic

The PCAT is Wednesday, July 27th.

I’m freaking out a little, when there is no need. I’ll do the best I can. I’ve been studying. I’m trying to get a Romanian gymnast’s level of concentration going. I’m wearing the outfit I’ll wear to the test center.

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Grrrs and Arghs

I have a little more than a month before the PCAT.

Every single day, I’ve been sitting at my desk and struggling through the Kaplan book. Sometimes my mind is more alert and willing than other times.

I feel woefully behind and deeply nervous.

Got to learn to handle it, of course. No other way to do it.

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