In ProcrastiNation

So last week, I took my first physics quiz. The next day, I dropped the class.

I did well on the quiz, but Chemistry had me so incredibly worried. Plus, I was bummed that I couldn’t finish my physics homework in 8 hours, meaning I couldn’t read and absorb the chapter and then finish the homework.

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At the starting line

Well,  I’ve made it nearly 7 days as a soon-to-be full-time student. I successfully registered myself at two schools, signed up for health insurance, bought my books, and applied to a couple of part-time jobs. One is as a pharma sales intern at a pharma company nearby. It doesn’t pay very well at all, unfortunately, but I got turned down for an admin job at an early childhood ed nonprofit (I applied pretty randomly to a bunch of jobs because I was pretty panicked).

I’ve spent the last week applying to jobs and cleaning up around the apartment.  I was eagerly anticipating the New Student Orientation at my new school yesterday, and I realized how utterly stupidly inappropriate it was for me to be there. The new students there were like kittens who are a few weeks old. One student mistook me for faculty. That was my cue to exit.

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Don’t panic^3

Tomorrow is my very last day of work.

Oh. My. God.

I was at the little grocery store in my building fifteen minutes ago when it hit me. It was like I was pressing an icicle to my sternum.

What. Have. I. Done.?

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Closer and closer

This summer has been fun. I have one more week of work left and a few more weeks until school starts. So far, I’ve managed to handle some of the complicated things: financial aid, giving notice at work, preparing to discuss COBRA dental, figuring out how to get health insurance, determining my schedule so I can work a few hours, and learning about pharmacy specializations.

The most important things to totally sort out now are health insurance and money.

Health insurance

My college does not offer any. It requires I have it, but does not offer any. There’s a school further away not in MD that offers it to all students, regardless of how many credits you’re taking, so I’m signing up for that. I went down to the school to apply for admission (it’s open admission anyway) and they said they would process my application. I’m supposed to register for courses in mid-August, and I guess at that point I can sign up for health insurance, which hopefully kicks in the first of September. COBRA costs $700 a month. I can’t afford that. Private insurance won’t cover prescription benefits unless I exhaust COBRA. I’m getting the dental aspect of COBRA because I know what happened after not getting regular checkups and cleanings for 8 years.

Luckily, the school that offers insurance offers a Public Speaking class on Saturdays and my college doesn’t. So it’s all okay and helps me get done faster.

Money

I saved up money from my paychecks (and moved to a state with a community college) so I could spend it on cheaper tuition. I’m also taking out a loan so I can keep what I have liquid in case something starts falling apart (health, emergencies of any other kind, whatever).

I have a panicked jolt coming through me every now and again where I’m like, Oh my god, I can’t leave my job. But it’s not like I can make peace with what I’m doing for a living right now. It’s not what I wanted. I didn’t get what I want because what I wanted was based on depictions on television and books, and influences from people who aren’t me. And a fair amount of fantasy, too.
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I heard that Robots don’t get sinus infections

Work has been horrendously busy lately. I’ve been feeling pessimistic, irritable, and overwhelmed due to how busy we are at work and how it cuts into my study and family/friends time. So I’ve been unhappy, but trucking along and trying to lighten my burden. I mean, I wish I didn’t have to work and study anatomy, but I need money for rent, food, and tuition. Also, I think I work with people who are generally nice, but my team is understaffed. I was not bitter about that until I started developing a sinus infection. I didn’t know I had one — I thought it was allergies, plus it wasn’t like I could do anything about it anyway. But last night, I got a little hysterical because I was developing a pretty bad sinus problem and rubbed my eye and all of a sudden it got extremely red and goopy. Viral conjunctivitis. Read the rest of this entry »