Accepted!

November 5, 2012 at 10:27 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , ,

I got accepted Early Decision to my state school’s pharmacy school. Yay! This is what I wanted all along.

I wish I could have blogged more, but last summer was emotionally painful. I want to be stronger. I thought I was, but I think my support network sort of fell apart. And, luckily, those that remained unknowingly really helped me a lot.

Getting through pharmacy school is going to take a lot of tenacity and a stronger belief in myself. It’s going to take even more discipline.

I want this, so I’m going to do everything I can in my power to become stronger and healthier, physically and mentally. My first step is to get physically stronger–lose the weight I gained this year after being on my allergy pills, strengthen my back and core muscles, tying up my crazy huge bunion and go running.

This summer, I promised myself I’d take better care of myself. I generally do, but I want to amp it up a lot.

So getting accepted to pharmacy school is the first of a lot of things I want to accomplish. I’m happy. Now step 2 is to build my mental and physical stamina, and an even better discipline.

Leave a Comment

Nine Lives

November 7, 2011 at 9:19 am (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I think Organic Chem is over for the semester. We have an exam today, and I realized that my approach to the material is very far from my professor’s approach to the material, and the twain won’t meet.

He’s a young guy. He’s very nice. He doesn’t write very well on the board, like in a way that lets you copy what he’s writing. I could get past that if he stuck to using the expensive textbook. But he doesn’t. I’m not an aural learner. I have to read and see to learn. I find myself surfing the internet looking for lecture notes from other universities on to when his notes don’t match the book’s content.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a Comment

OChem and other nightmares

September 16, 2011 at 9:11 pm (OChem and All the Rest)
Tags: , , , ,

This might end up the the title of my autobiography.

Look, I’m sick of acting like a nervous brat. I’m so entirely sick of it. I moan and groan and ache over stupid quizzes. I get emotional, and it’s not a quality I like in myself.

I can list the reasons why it’s a Waste of Time:

  1. It’s dumb.
  2. It’s stupid.
  3. It’s a waste of emotional energy.
  4. It’s most definitely a waste of mental energy
  5. It keeps you from attaining the confidence and strength you need to get back on the proverbial horse again.
Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a Comment

Hitting the Reset

July 28, 2011 at 9:55 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I took the PCAT yesterday, after a sleepless night. It’s been a really rough week. When I get nervous, I can’t eat. I had planned to drink a meal replacement. I had planned to talk myself into getting into bed.  I tried, and found I was too rattled to sleep. And my hunger pains were ripping my stomach.

I found myself desperately wishing I had had more time to study. It seemed crazy to only spend five weeks studying for it. I found this helpful stuff on the PCAT website at the last minute (because I’d been avoiding SDN—the bitchiest boyzone forum that is occasionally helpful that I’ve personally ever encountered).

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a Comment

No time to panic

July 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , ,

The PCAT is Wednesday, July 27th.

I’m freaking out a little, when there is no need. I’ll do the best I can. I’ve been studying. I’m trying to get a Romanian gymnast’s level of concentration going. I’m wearing the outfit I’ll wear to the test center.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a Comment

Grrrs and Arghs

June 19, 2011 at 6:15 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , ,

I have a little more than a month before the PCAT.

Every single day, I’ve been sitting at my desk and struggling through the Kaplan book. Sometimes my mind is more alert and willing than other times.

I feel woefully behind and deeply nervous.

Got to learn to handle it, of course. No other way to do it.

Leave a Comment

Summer of PCAT

June 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Got an A in Chem 102 and an A in the second half of biology. It was a relief. I barely made an A in the second half of bio, to be truthful. I was not happy with my final lecture exam score, but I attribute that to having studied far more intensely for the cumulative chemistry final.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a Comment

Weekly quizzes

February 2, 2011 at 7:36 pm (Don't panic)
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I took my first Chemistry quiz. I stayed up all night because I wanted to get a 100% and make a great impression on my professor. I may or may not have gotten mostly everything right (or worth partial credit), except I know for sure that I misread an exponent as I tried to work quickly.  I thought she was trying to trick us, so I gleefully answered it. I couldn’t see the clock, so I just worked faster after one person handed in their quiz.

I don’t know why I’m so darn slow while I’m taking a quiz. I think it’s probably because I’m trying to think and not be scared. It takes me twice as much energy to focus and calm myself down. I always want that feeling of mastery and confidence but I never get it. I just end up feeling lucky. I hope I get at least 7 points out of this somehow. It sucks. I wanted it to be perfect. It sucks that I have to continue to worry about the mistakes I make because I make mistakes. I feel better that the smart pre-pharm Cal grad also might have  messed up.

I just want to eat lunch and take a long nap. I haven’t been interested in sleeping much lately. Part of me feels like I don’t deserve to sleep or that sleeping is boring. It’s really weird. I don’t get why I’m like this. It’s so ridiculous. God, Priya, chill out already and stop thinking about how you feel or what you’re worried about. Christ Almighty.

Leave a Comment